It’s safe to say I further lost focus and further ran out of steam since my last post in 2014. Otherwise I would have been writing regularly.
What happened? Where to even start?
I’ve been through hell and back. An unlucky succession of jobs where I wasn’t happy, several cycles of depression. Training has often been the last thing on my mind, as fighting to stay alive required all my strength.
But hey, look: I’m still here. I’ve gained weight, but I’ve been able to limit the damages. I’ve gradually picked up running again, and next month I should finish my first 10K in years. I’ve also been a more regular at the gym, as I found fitness classes I actually like (kickboxing and BodyPump especially). I went cycling yesterday, for the first time in at least three years. I’ve also been at the pool a few times. No, I’m not training to finish a triathlon. I’m just training to be happy again.
And in this crazy head of mine, the desire to ‘do something with fitness and exercise’ has been nagging me again. Yes, ‘again’ as I did look into getting some sort of fitness trainer certification in 2014. But by fear or lack of motivation (or a combination of both), I abandoned the idea, stored it safely under lock and key, and forgot all about it. Until last week, when I had a bit of an existential crisis. Do I continue in the same field of work, and end up miserable like I’ve been the past couple of jobs, or do I explore other possibilities? Am I strong enough to start my career over at 42? Is it even the smart thing to do? What do I really want to do with the rest of my life?
So I explored other possibilities, namely options where I could work either as a freelancer or have my own practice. Becoming a fitness trainer and possibly a personal trainer was one of the options. But what do I have to offer my clients as a middle-aged woman who is certainly not the fittest, and who used to be morbidly obese? Experience, I suppose. The “I’ve been there” factor. I’d like to focus on fitness for older people, people like me. And I’d love to offer support and motivation to WLS patients as they become more active. I don’t want to make triathletes out of them — I simply want to share with them the joy that physical activity can bring. Not to mention the health benefits…!
And I did it. I signed up for an intensive course in June, where I’ll (hopefully) obtain my level 1 certification. I’m being carefully optimistic, it will be hard work, for sure. And that’s just level 1. There are so many other courses I need to complete in order to call myself a fitness master!
I’ll use this blog as a journal as I continue on the path of change. And some training and race reports, too. Did I mention I’ve also signed up for an 8K race in and around the gardens of the palace of Versailles in France? Versailles! Imagine that!
Watch this space.